Thursday, February 11, 2016

BCBCB Whole30

I've delayed writing our family Whole30 recap because, to be honest, I didn't feel like I was the best example. When I look back at my history with pursing health, I see a lot of failures. I see mountains, sure, but man do I see a lot of valleys. I see a lot of starting and a lot of quitting, giving up. I would sit down to type a new blog entry about our 30 day journey, but then I'd just stop. Completely shut down, put it away, and stop thinking about it. Because I didn't feel qualified. Yes, we did 30 days of no grains, no dairy, no legumes, no sugar, no alcohol, no cheats, but then what? The "then what?" is where I would (& still do) get stuck. I can do 30 days. In fact, I did 34. But a complete lifestyle change? For the rest of my life? That overwhelms me and before I know it I'm back to old habits. I was tired of sounding like a broken record, so I thought it was best this time not to talk about it at all.

But while in my Bible study, The Armor of God, I realized being silent was letting Satan win. He knows my struggle with food and my weight. And if he could keep me silent, then someone else would suffer silently, too. You see, I'm convinced I need to share our story because someone needs encouragement. They need to know they are not alone. 

You are not alone.

It doesn't have to be a food or weight issue. Maybe it's another kind of addiction. Or maybe you blew it with your kids or spouse and anger exploded out of you, again. Maybe you're trapped in the comparison game. It could be there's an issue with lying, cheating, stealing of time, money, or resources. Maybe fear and anxiety are suffocating you. Perhaps life just keeps knocking you down and you just want to quit altogether. Whatever it is, it's a very real struggle. You have a grip on it one day and the next day it's out of control. And you're overwhelmed. 

I get it. I absolutely understand your frustration.

You are not alone.

Don't hide in shame or condemnation. Ask for forgiveness if needed. Surrender the issue. And let grace wash over you as you press on, dear friends. I said on Day 1 of our journey, "Always starting over is a sign of never quitting. I refuse to quit." I'm not quitting and I pray you don't either! 

So. With all of that said, here's a quick recap of our Whole30 experience...

It's kind of funny how it came to be. We were leaving a deliciously carb-laden meal at Carraba's with some friends over Christmas break. As we were driving back to their house, all stuffed full of bread, chicken Parmesan, and fettuccini Alfredo, we started talking about making some changes in our food. Both girls mentioned some issues they had and I told them I thought maybe eliminating certain food groups might help. I had completed a Whole 30 last year and threw it out there that maybe we could all do it together. Then we reached our destination and I filled myself to the brim with raspberry almond thumbprint cookies. 

We went through the rest of the holiday break and didn't stop eating our favorite foods. We knew a possible change was on the horizon so we went crazy. We normally don't keep soda in the house. But for that last week at home? We panicked if the stock got low. Pretty silly, and we laughed at ourselves, but that's just the truth. We were consuming all junk, nothing of nutritional value.

Towards the end of the break Brandon took us to a local bbq joint. As we sat there eating fried catfish, fried chicken strips, brisket and all the sides (hush puppies!!), we talked again about doing a family Whole 30. The girls were interested and I was definitely ready for a change. As good as food tastes, it really does leave me pretty miserable. As a food addict, I'm well aware of the vicious cycle of overeating and the guilt that follows. 

The decision was made and on January 4, 2016 we began a 30 day journey of no grains, no dairy, no legumes, no sugar, no alcohol, and no cheats. That's a lot of no's! I'll admit, I was worried if we could make it. The girls had never attempted a strict eating plan. And the last time B did, well bless him, he lasted 2.5 days & then I found him lying on the floor of our bedroom begging for his phone and wallet. Thirty minutes later a family pack from Papa John's was at our door. So, yeah, I wasn't super optimistic.

For 30 days I all but lived in my kitchen. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner for four people eating whole, nutritious foods is A LOT of prepping and cooking. We decided we would eat at home for the month (except when B had two business trips -- and he totally rocked them & made awesome food choices!) and while it got exhausting, it was worth it. We set ourselves up for success and it worked. 

I am so very proud of all of us. It was tough. The food we ate really wasn't a problem, though we all missed things like pizza, chips and salsa, sweets. What we truly missed was convenience. Out running around shopping all day on a Saturday usually meant we'd eat out or at least grab a pizza on the way home. Instead we were eating before we left the house, taking snacks with us, and then I'd cook somethng once we were back home.

One time our snacks didn't cut it and we were all starving. So after grocery shopping we camped out at Whole Foods and devoured a rotisserie chicken. This is probably one of my favorite memories from the 30 days. We still laugh about it. I think I thanked B 100 times for that chicken. Lol!

The girls were champs! I was beyond impressed with how they handled everything. This was a complete change in their eating habits, and not being super fond of vegetables, I was worried if they'd last. But day by day, they were rocking it. One week in, two weeks in, three weeks in, and the downhill slide to day 30 and they were fully committed. It wasn't always easy and there were moanings of "Why did I agree to do this?!", but they did it! They resisted donuts each Sunday, went to Tribe Nights having already eaten and with a smoothie, resisted popcorn and Dr. Pepper one night at Real Life, turned down offers from friends at school (except that one Starburst Caylee ate on day 2 or 3 out of habit and without even realizing), and tried a lot of new things. I'm so proud of you, girls!


They could not have survived without tuna and veggie chips at lunch. Veggie chips aren't typically allowed, but the ingredients were fully compliant and these teenagers needed something to help them survive. Ha!


They didn't weigh, but my friend could see a difference in them just by looking at pictures on social media, so she made a before and after using pictures she found and sent them to me. Crazy!

Brandon was amazing as well and when he made it past his previous personal record of 2.5days, we celebrated! And the next thing we knew he conquered the Whole30. I could not have done it without him. He hates to grocery shop, but we went every Saturday and did the main bulk of it together. He learned how to make delicious breakfast sausage. He kept us laughing when he'd infuse water. He would (& still does) eat breakfast before he left for work. And he didn't let business trips slow him down. At the end of 30 days he had lost 15lbs, was sleeping better, and saw some pretty incredible changes in his health all because of food. I'm so proud of you, boy! 




When I wasn't prepping, cooking, or cleaning my kitchen I was meal planning, list making, scouring cookbooks and Pinterest for ideas, and trying to figure out how to keep us on track. It was mentally exhausting and all I wanted to eat was a chocolate chip cookie. And there for awhile I could've put away a coconut cream pie like no one's business. Or a pan of cinnamon rolls. Instead I made things like chicken cattiatorie, shrimp putanessca, chicken pesto rollups, carnitats, crockpot curry, and our favorite standbys of chicken sausages and roasted veggies, almond chicken, pork tenderloin, or steak with hasselbeck potatoes. I'm glad I stuck with it because I lost 17.6lbs, had more energy, and sleep was incredible. 



As hard as all food changes were some days, we also survived a snow day (usually full of amazing comfort food and sweets), our oven was out for three days and I had to cook by stovetop, crockpot, and Ninja, we hosted a lifegroup meet and greet at our house, and had friends over for a Sunday lunch all while staying fully Whole30 compliant.



We have all had so much more energy as a result of fueling our bodies properly. B and I used to live for a Sunday afternoon nap, and well, we haven't needed them in a few weeks. We've gone for walks along the river. And this past weekend we climbed Pinnacle Mountain. 






I am so glad we decided to start 2016 off with health as a priority. And I might not have the best track record when it comes to maintaining things long term, but like I said on January 4, 2016, I refuse to quit. 


Press on, friends! I'm cheering you on!

Friday, January 1, 2016

Prayer for 2016

I am a very self-centered person. There. I said it.

I want things to go MY way, in MY time, with little pain for ME to endure. 
Oh it can get so ugly sometimes.

As I have been thinking and praying about 2016 this past month, I had an idea of where I thought my theme would be headed. It sounded all good and doable, but then I started hearing something different. One word kept popping up and I'd think about it for a second and then move on. I still had time and wasn't in a rush to nail anything down.

And then it happened. My selfishness showed it's ugly face. Again.

School was out, B was finished with work for the year, and instead of celebrating I found myself in a mood. Why? Because things didn't go my way. I let something so petty like a Christmas purchase completely altar the evening. The next morning I cried it out to B and I could see confusion on his face. I was making absolutely no sense. I felt better as the day went on and we were set to go to church that evening. I'll be honest, I didn't want to go. I wasn't "feeling" it. Oh what I would've missed out on if I'd let my feelings control me that evening.

As we began to worship, my walls began to come down. And that one word I had been hearing was becoming louder.

This Christmas season our church has had the theme "Jesus at the Center". I've loved that song for years and was so happy to sing it each week. But that Saturday night? It took on a whole new meaning. 

Before we took communion, I circled up my family, apologized and asked for their forgiveness, and settled in my heart what God had been prompting.

For 2016, less is more.

Less.

That is my word. My theme.

Less of Cari. More of Jesus. Cari on the sidelines. Jesus on center stage.

I can set all kinds of resolutions and goals and dreams, but if they are focused on me and what I want, they will fail. Plain and simple. 

Do I want to lose weight? Absolutely! But obviously my ways aren't working. How about I surrender that to Him? How about I say, "God, this is obviously much more of a heart issue than a food issue. Help me to honor your temple." Less of the foods that bring momentary pleasure and more of what can fuel me in a way to be effective for the kingdom.

Those times I want to control everything about my children? Yeah, I'll need to surrender those. Less of making mini-Cari's and more of shepherding teenage hearts that will hopefully chase after Him. 

The plan I had laid out for our family? Let it go. Less of being so deadest on my ways and more of remembering that His ways are always higher. 

Someone hurt my feelings? So what. Less of feeling offended and more grace. 

See the pattern? It's really simple. Less is more. It doesn't mean less is easy. And I can guarantee I won't ace every test. But I desire more. More of what He can offer. Less of what I can do on my own. Because if it's up to me? I make a mess of things every single time. I want to take me out of the equation & let Him do immeasurably more than I ask or imagine according to His power at work within me. To Him be the glory! 

As I sat in that church service a couple weeks ago, God reminded me of John 3:30.


“He must increase, but I must decrease.””
John 3:30 ESV

The NIV version? 

“He must become greater; I must become less.””
John 3:30 NIV

What about The Message? 

“This is the assigned moment for him to move into the center, while I slip off to the sidelines.”
John 3:29-30 MSG

Boom. There it was. Less of me. More of Him. I have to let go of wanting things, emotions, and situations to go my way. Just trust Him. It seems almost silly, because as a Christian isn't that the goal? Deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him? But I will be the first person to raise my hand and admit I've failed over and over again. And I'll keep messing up until the day I die. But oh it's my heart's desire for this year to spark a real change. It's never going to be easy to die to self. But I know with the help of the Holy Spirit and the power that lives inside of me, I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. I don't know how I can even gauge this theme as "successful" or not, but I'm praying it'll be evident. 

Less Cari. More Jesus. 
Less hatefulness. More love. 
Less bitterness. More joy.
Less frustration. More peace.
Less irritability. More patience.
Less meanness. More kindness.
Less helplessness. More goodness.
Less flakiness. More faithfulness.
Less harshness. More gentleness.
Less indulgence. More self-control.
Less criticism. More compassion.
Less social media. More living in the moment. 
Less talking. More listening. 
Less noise. More silence.
Less fear. More faith.
Less gossip. More building up.
Less judging. More open mind. 
Less living room. More WarRoom.
Less worrying about what clothes to wear. More putting on the full armor of God.
Less resisting. More submitting.
Less doubting. More trusting.
Less comparison. More gratitude. 
Less sugar. More veggies. 
Less sitting. More moving. 
Less complaining. More praising. 
Less spending. More saving. 
Less getting. More giving. 
Less eye-rolling. More smiling. 
Less yelling. More calm.
Less pride. More humility. 
Less empty words. More follow-through.
Less drama. More honesty. 
Less fake. More real. 
Less of what I see. More of what God sees. 
Less of seeking man's approval. More of seeking God's approval.
Less bondage. More freedom.
Less Cari. More Jesus.

Happy New Year, friends. I pray you see less of me this year and more of Him.