I am a very self-centered person. There. I said it.
I want things to go MY way, in MY time, with little pain for ME to endure.
Oh it can get so ugly sometimes.
As I have been thinking and praying about 2016 this past month, I had an idea of where I thought my theme would be headed. It sounded all good and doable, but then I started hearing something different. One word kept popping up and I'd think about it for a second and then move on. I still had time and wasn't in a rush to nail anything down.
And then it happened. My selfishness showed it's ugly face. Again.
School was out, B was finished with work for the year, and instead of celebrating I found myself in a mood. Why? Because things didn't go my way. I let something so petty like a Christmas purchase completely altar the evening. The next morning I cried it out to B and I could see confusion on his face. I was making absolutely no sense. I felt better as the day went on and we were set to go to church that evening. I'll be honest, I didn't want to go. I wasn't "feeling" it. Oh what I would've missed out on if I'd let my feelings control me that evening.
As we began to worship, my walls began to come down. And that one word I had been hearing was becoming louder.
This Christmas season our church has had the theme "Jesus at the Center". I've loved that song for years and was so happy to sing it each week. But that Saturday night? It took on a whole new meaning.
Before we took communion, I circled up my family, apologized and asked for their forgiveness, and settled in my heart what God had been prompting.
For 2016, less is more.
Less.
That is my word. My theme.
Less of Cari. More of Jesus. Cari on the sidelines. Jesus on center stage.
I can set all kinds of resolutions and goals and dreams, but if they are focused on me and what I want, they will fail. Plain and simple.
Do I want to lose weight? Absolutely! But obviously my ways aren't working. How about I surrender that to Him? How about I say, "God, this is obviously much more of a heart issue than a food issue. Help me to honor your temple." Less of the foods that bring momentary pleasure and more of what can fuel me in a way to be effective for the kingdom.
Those times I want to control everything about my children? Yeah, I'll need to surrender those. Less of making mini-Cari's and more of shepherding teenage hearts that will hopefully chase after Him.
The plan I had laid out for our family? Let it go. Less of being so deadest on my ways and more of remembering that His ways are always higher.
Someone hurt my feelings? So what. Less of feeling offended and more grace.
See the pattern? It's really simple. Less is more. It doesn't mean less is easy. And I can guarantee I won't ace every test. But I desire more. More of what He can offer. Less of what I can do on my own. Because if it's up to me? I make a mess of things every single time. I want to take me out of the equation & let Him do immeasurably more than I ask or imagine according to His power at work within me. To Him be the glory!
As I sat in that church service a couple weeks ago, God reminded me of John 3:30.
“He must increase, but I must decrease.””
John 3:30 ESV
The NIV version?
“He must become greater; I must become less.””
John 3:30 NIV
What about The Message?
“This is the assigned moment for him to move into the center, while I slip off to the sidelines.”
John 3:29-30 MSG
Boom. There it was. Less of me. More of Him. I have to let go of wanting things, emotions, and situations to go my way. Just trust Him. It seems almost silly, because as a Christian isn't that the goal? Deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him? But I will be the first person to raise my hand and admit I've failed over and over again. And I'll keep messing up until the day I die. But oh it's my heart's desire for this year to spark a real change. It's never going to be easy to die to self. But I know with the help of the Holy Spirit and the power that lives inside of me, I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. I don't know how I can even gauge this theme as "successful" or not, but I'm praying it'll be evident.
Less Cari. More Jesus.
Less hatefulness. More love.
Less bitterness. More joy.
Less frustration. More peace.
Less irritability. More patience.
Less meanness. More kindness.
Less helplessness. More goodness.
Less flakiness. More faithfulness.
Less harshness. More gentleness.
Less indulgence. More self-control.
Less criticism. More compassion.
Less social media. More living in the moment.
Less talking. More listening.
Less noise. More silence.
Less fear. More faith.
Less gossip. More building up.
Less judging. More open mind.
Less living room. More WarRoom.
Less worrying about what clothes to wear. More putting on the full armor of God.
Less resisting. More submitting.
Less doubting. More trusting.
Less comparison. More gratitude.
Less sugar. More veggies.
Less sitting. More moving.
Less complaining. More praising.
Less spending. More saving.
Less getting. More giving.
Less eye-rolling. More smiling.
Less yelling. More calm.
Less pride. More humility.
Less empty words. More follow-through.
Less drama. More honesty.
Less fake. More real.
Less of what I see. More of what God sees.
Less of seeking man's approval. More of seeking God's approval.
Less bondage. More freedom.
Less Cari. More Jesus.
Happy New Year, friends. I pray you see less of me this year and more of Him.
