Ten years

Pslam 131

My heart is not proud, Lord,

my eyes are not haughty;

I do not concern myself with great matters

or things too wonderful for me.

But I have calmed and quieted myself,

I am like a weaned child with its mother;

like a weaned child I am content.

Israel, put your hope in the LORD

both now and forevermore.

Ten years ago Psalm 131 was my sister’s daily devotional. She never read it, as she was heavily sedated and nearing the end of her nine month battle with an aggressive form of cancer. After she passed late that night I opened her devotion book for comfort and found that day’s reading so very fitting.

Brenna wasn’t concerned with things too great or wonderful for her. And on December 18, 2002 she calmed and quieted her soul and was content in the presence of Jesus. She had put all her hope in Him.

It’s been 10 years. An entire decade since my sister was here with us. How is that even possible? One third of my life has now been lived without her. Unreal. I’m always hesitant to document Brenna’s passing each year. I don’t want to come across as morbid or stuck in the past. But I desperately don’t want her to be forgotten. I don’t want people to forget her unique sense of humor. Her generosity. Her independence. Her smile.

Everyday without her is hard. I long to talk to her. Even yesterday I read a Christmas card for a sister and thought how perfect it would be for her. And then I remember she’s gone. Yes, it’s still gut wrenching, but then I’m reminded she’s not in pain anymore. No more chemotherapy. No more raditation. No more seizures. And the most comfort of all comes from scripture, for it promises to be absent from this body is to be present with the Lord.

I can hear Brenna’s beautiful alto voice now singing praises to her King. I see Velia Kincade and Maguerite Kern in that choir. My Papa Burl and Grandma Arnold are there as well, though they are probably at the river fishing. There is also a young man named Dakota Hawkins there, whom Brenna never met, and I can only wonder if he and Brenna got to witness the beautiful meeting of their mother’s this past Sunday.

And so on this day, when it’s easy to get overwhelmed in grief, I will rejoice in Brenna’s life and rest assured she’s in a much better place. When I find myself sad during this Christmas season, I will remember it’s because of God’s gift, His son Jesus, that Brenna is eternally whole. Praise His name!

Beautiful, Valuable, Enough.

As we slowly learn to make our new house our "home" I'm trying to come up with more meaningful wall art. I've had several prints for years and they've traveled from house to house and I just find a place to "make them work". Some I still love & hold special memories (think a Christmas present from my sister, or a picture of Spavinaw Lake taken, developed, framed, and signed with a sweet note on the back by my late uncle) and I will find special places in this house for them. But I really want to try and redefine our space in this house.

I was mindlessly clicking from pin to pin on Pinterest a couple of weeks ago and I stumbled on this article. It's still strange to think we will have two teenagers in a year and a half. Teen.Agers. Seriously. That's a whole new world (cue the Aladdin music) & I want to navigate through it carefully. This article is spot on! I love the frankness, yet tenderness in the words. I was smiling my way through it until I read number 10. And then the tears came. I don't know if I've ever read anything so perfect for teenage girls. Sure, they will probably roll their eyes at it, but if we can instill those truths deep inside of them early on, hopefully it will save them from some hurt later on down the road.

"You are beautiful. You are valuable You are enough."

When I read those final words a lightbulb came on and I was a woman on a mission. The girls have had a cute zebra bathroom theme for years. We all still loved it, but it was time for a change. Target to the rescue and I found a lovely blue and green shower curtain for their bathroom. New shower curtain meant blank walls. Anyone who knows me knows blank walls don't bother me. I'd rather have them blank for years than to have them filled to the brim with stuff I have settled for.

That article sparked something in me & I knew I needed to incorporate it somehow into their bathroom. I'm not the craftiest of persons, but I like to try (and boy do I want to be crafty!). I've seen all kinds of DIY canvases on Pinterest and I just knew I could find something that would meet me right at my crafty level. I was so excited when I found this. Canvas, magazines, paint...I could totally do this!

I grabbed my old Southern Living magazines and found colors that blended with the shower curtain. I stayed in the blue/green range, but threw in some pops of pinks, yellows, and reds here and there as well. It was fun to not worry about perfection. It was magazine scraps, for crying out loud! And it was going to be completely covered in paint. I did manage to mess up the first canvas I attempted (didn't have the right letters), but never fear I had a spare canvas and started all over. And I LOVE the end result. I mean, I. LOVE. IT. It's exactly what I had in mind.

I tried to be all crafty blooger-like and document the process. Ha!

Magazine scraps hot glued onto the canvas. After my first disaster I learned I had to use vinyl letters for this project to work. So this is take two. And since they were vinyl & reusable I refused to buy two packages of letters so I couldn't lay it all out at once. I kind of had to wing it. A little nerve wracking, but not bad. I kept saying "this isn't supposed to be a polished look so don't worry about perfection". After the letters were in place and pressed down firmly, the fun part came. Paint over it!! 

Yes, you'll see there are two different backgrounds. This pic is from the reject. ;) Once the canvas is completely covered in paint, slowly peel the letters off to reveal your masterpiece. 

(I kind of got too excited to take a picture the moment I peeled all the letters off, so let's go to the final piece, shall we?)

Come on. How perfectly imperfect?! The girls knew I was working on something for their bathroom, but I kept it a secret. I called it "my project", but wouldn't let them watch what I was doing. It drove them nuts! When I was finally finished I got them together to reveal it. I wanted to explain it. I probably got a little deep, but that's okay. This canvas, to me, is a representation of life. It's made up of all kinds of experiences (magazine scraps) that come together to make us who we are. We have the amazing gift of salvation through Jesus Christ that covers up (white paint) a multitude of sin. We are in control of what we choose to reveal to the world (vinyl letters). We are not perfect (crooked, uneven lines and spacing). 

There will be days the girls look in the bathroom mirror and don't like what they see. That's normal. They'll wish their hair was different, or their teeth, or maybe they'll have a huge zit, or...or...or... But they'll have that canvas starring back at them. Whether they believe it or not when they're in the midst of the "drama of the day", they can't escape the truth in those words.

They are beautiful.

They are valuable.

They are enough. 

Catching up...

I seriously do not know how November is almost halfway over. I mean, really. Where'd the days go? And Thanksgiving is next week? Crazy! Ok. So since time has slipped away, so has blogging. But I don't want to forget these days. So let's play catch up!

Pumpkin Carving

Nothing says fall like pumpkins and a night outside carving those babies! This year, though, we did the scraping technique and Bay painted her pumpkin. It was weird not scooping out the guts, but fun nonetheless.

Painter Bay

B cracked me up! He was so meticulous!

Cay was a little on the impatient side, but focused when she needed to.

Ta-da! (Horrible pic, sorry.) 

After we cleaned up our pumpkin mess, it was time for s'mores! I'll take mine minus the chocolate, thank you very much. ;)

Those girls are serious about their s'mores! ;)

Halloween

This year the girls wanted to dress up. And they wanted Bran and I to dress up, too. Since I'm well aware this could be getting very close to their last year when they thinking trick-or-treating is "cool" I was all over it! They wanted us to be a family of pirates. Umm...Yes!! My mascot in high school was a pirate, so I'm a pirate through and through. And my girls are well aware of my pirate fascination.

(Just a couple pics of me with pirates to show my obsession.) :)

B and I didn't go all out with our costumes, but enough to satisfy the girls. When they first threw out the idea Bran said "I'll just get a shirt and put "Arr! I'm a pirate" on it". And for some reason that cracked the girls up and they approved. Easy! I, on the other hand, did try on some regular costumes with them, but went the more practical route with an all black outfit a red scarf tied around my head. Done! 

Daddy helping Cay with her headband. 

"This is the only time I will ever wear eyeliner, Mom." Sure, Baylee, sure. I'll remind you of that one of these days. Or maybe she knows herself better than I do! ;)

Daddy and his girlers. Pics weren't the greatest that night. Girls were being GOOFY! Bay was our fancy buccaneer and Cay was more of the scrappy pirate.

Three lady pirates! 

See! I can't help but kiss a pirate when I see one! ;)

We walked around our new neighborhood. It was a very quiet night. There wasn't a lot of traffic and the houses were hit or miss. We made the best of it and I captured all our silliness with the video camera. 

Ha! That's me. The photog mom lagging behind with multiple cameras! ;)

Bay and her loot. 

B and Cay.

It was a good night and they even scored full size candy bars at one house. That was most definitely the highlight of the night!

Quick trip to Oklahoma!

One of the major perks about being back in Arkansas is the ability to get to OK for a quick weekend. In one weekend we were able to hit up two of my nephews football games, a wedding reception for one of my dearest friends, visit with family and friends, and buy a new kingsize bed! Woohoo! (Been waiting 11 years for that bed. Ha!) I only got pics of my nephews, though. 

Barrett, 10 years old

BJ, 14 years old

Brady, 17 years old 

(It was his senior night and last regular season game. They are still in the playoffs. Go Warriors!)

I've mentioned before that I've always taken the boys down or picked them up or something. Well, it takes a little effort with the older two so I don't want to embarrass them in public (Ha!), so Barrett insisted on running and jumping into my arms. And B captured this pic. Hilarious!!!!!! 

Uncle Bubba and the girlers after Barrett's heartbreaking loss the next day. 

Aunt Cari and the boys. Such handsome (& silly) men.

First guests!

The day we pulled back into our town here in Arkansas we had friends invite us over for dinner. It was such a treat to have a yummy meal with familiar faces after the long drive from South Carolina. We told Josh and Nelleke they would be our first guests as soon as we got a house and we'd have muenster chicken. YUM! This past weekend we finally got to make good on our promise. And it was delightful. The food, the friends, the laughter...it was all good. 

Whew! That was long. But I know one of these days I'll be grateful for recording all of these memories. I think that pretty much caught us up. Except for all the boxes and packing paper that stuck around for a couple of weeks. Our house is beginning to come together slowly but surely. There's nothing on the walls yet, but that'll come in time. Hopefully. ;)

Welcome home!

We have been in our new home for almost two weeks and we are slowly saying goodbye to all the boxes. Goodness, moving is a PROCESS! I managed to snap a few pics of our humble abode before we moved in. Before we tour the house I have to share how we found it. It's a pretty cool story, if I do say so myself. 

We pulled into our little town on August 18. The next day after church and lunch with friends we were just driving around getting ourselves familiar with the area again. We knew the area of town we wanted to live in and had a particular interest in this neighborhood. B had found a house online that looked nice so we stopped by. It was empty so we all got out and walked around peeking in the windows. The girls and I were loading back up in the van when a guy stopped and talked to B & asked him if we were looking for a house. Bran told him we were and he said, "Hi, I'm CJ and I have a couple houses down the street". B immediately knew who this guy was. He said "CJ, I'm BB and you built our last house". You see the builder of our first house here in Arkansas was CJ. B had tried to contact him when we found out we were moving back, but the number no longer worked. He just "so happened" to drive by as we were looking in the neighborhood. Coincidence? No. God thing. He took us down the street and we immediately knew that house was ours. We had spent a year looking at houses and knew what we wanted. Does this house have it all? Of course not. But it has what we need. It's exactly the size we were looking for (2200 square feet) and in our ideal price range. Perfect! It still had a couple months before it was completed so we were able to pick out colors and make it our own. Stressful, but fun. Two days after we pulled into town we signed a contract on our house. Total God thing. This house is so eerily similar to our first house here in Arkansas. From all the molding and detail CJ puts in his homes, to the split floor plan...it makes me laugh. 

Ok. Enough of all that. Let's take a tour, shall we! :)

Front

Back

Front stoop. B picked out the hanging light. Love it!

Stepping inside the front door.

Most people would probably begin a home tour by using the front door. Not me! Let's use the door we use all the time and start there - the garage door! ;)

That's better. This is our "mudroom". We enter the door and throw all our junk on the bench. It's a nice catch all area. 

To the right of the garage door is the laundry room. When mom was here we called it her "play room". Ha! She a laundry queen! I want to be like her when I grow up. ;)

Standing in the mudroom. This is the master bedroom. We have a split floor plan which I love!

Master bath. Yes, a shower door. Those who know me know I HATE shower doors. But B loves them. And, well, he pays the bills. ;)

Vanity. Oh, and that door knob you can barely see is the toilet area with a nice size linen closet.

Master walk-in closet with built in dresser. This is a horrible picture, but how do you really take a pic of a closet? ;)

Ok. Now we have the kitchen. I love these cabinets! The dark wood makes me smile. See the mudroom? Just trying to give y'all a visual of the flow of the house. The other doorframe leads into the dining room. 

This is where I spend a lot of my time. Not too shabby. :)

One of my favorite parts of the kitchen... the pullout spice cabinets. Just a fun little touch. 

The dining room. It's a pretty large room. We are able to the leaf in our table and have room for a hutch whenever I find one.

The living room front the front door. The dining room is also to the right. 

The fireplace. Love. The. Stone. The mantle intimidates me, decorating wise. And I think eventually we will mount a tv there, which kind of bugs me too. Fireplaces are stressful. ;)

View of the living room, breakfast area, and kitchen from the hall leading to the other three bedrooms. I love the openness of the living area. 

Hallway, standing in Caylee's doorway at the back of the house. The doorframe on the left leads to the living area. First door on the right is the bathroom, second door on the right is Baylee's room, and the room straight down the hall is the guest bedroom. 

Caylee's room. I'm a horrible photographer. Ha!

The girls each have a nice walk-in closet. Again, how do you photograph a closet?!

Girls bathroom

Well look who we have here! Baylee lounging in her room!

Guest bedroom at the front of the house.

Guest closet. Not a walk-in, but still good size and nice storage.

And there we have it! Home sweet home!