One year later

I can't believe one year has already snuck up on me. My friend Anne had introduced me to the book "Eat to Live" by Dr. Joel Fuhrman. She was going to live by it for six weeks and for some reason it really sparked my interest. I'll be honest, when I heard it was all about going vegan, as well as eliminating all oils and white foods, I thought she was crazy. But it kept nagging at me and I finally broke down and bought the book. I don't know if it was the hard truths Dr. Fuhrman presents in the book, or the fact that it was just time to get my weight under control, but last March Brandon and I took the plunge together and I am so glad we did!

We decided to start on a Monday so that weekend before we headed to a local hamburger/ice cream joint we had been wanting to try in Summerville. B referred to it as our "final greasy transgression". And you know what? It was a total letdown. I think that was a sign we were headed in the right direction. Had it tasted delicious, we'd crave it forever. ;) From there we went to Sam's and began to explain to the girls what we were doing. The insane amount of fruits and veggies we were buying would become breakfast, lunch, and dinner for B and me. They struggled with wrapping their brain around it, and I'll be honest. So did I!

Our first load of produce from Sam's. Oh, and our Ninja. Not sure how we survived all those years without it. Seriously.

Living in South Carolina was a completely different lifestyle. There was the beach, of course, but the weather stayed gorgeous year round. We were constantly outside. If it wasn't the beach, it was taking a walk along the Ashley River just minutes from our house. Or a leisurely stroll downtown. Or a bike ride through the neighborhood. For someone who says the sun hurts her eyes, I was outside more in that year than any other time in my life. And you know what? So were the rest of the cute and fit people. They were biking. Or kayaking. Or paddleboarding. Or running. I was constantly being bombarded with fit people and then I'd get home and see myself in the mirror (when I'd look in a mirror, that is). I finally said "enough is enough".

My before picture.

March 11, 2012

I look at that picture above and I see a Cari who is sacred to death. She's scared if she doesn't get her weight under control then she won't be around much longer. She's constantly scared of what people think of her. She's terrified of not being able to fit in booths or chairs or having seatbelts buckle. She's scared of being embarrassed and being an embarrassment. She's scared she will fail. Again.

But guess what? She didn't fail. I didn't fail! As of today I am down nearly 70 pounds! Oh it has been hard. So very hard. The six week trial run I gave of the Eat to Live program was the perfect starting point. And though I don't adhere to it on a daily basis anymore, I am a firm believer in what Dr. Fuhrman teaches. And honestly, most of my weight has come off when I follow his principles. If I didn't love cheese so much, I'd be a vegan in a heartbeat! ;)

"However, there are some SERIOUS cravings. I thought it would be sweets. You know, chocolate chip cookies, strawberry cobbler, runs to Dairy Queen for a Butterfinger blizzard… but it’s not. It’s CHEESE!!! I can only think of cheese. I want a grilled cheese. A cheese pizza from Mellow Mushroom. Cheese and crackers. Queso. Nachos. Cheese, cheese, CHEESE! It’s seriously very weird. I never would have thought this would be my craving. HA!" 

From a journal entry on March 16, 2012

While I knew food was a major factor in losing weight, I also knew I had to get moving. I know being this big for so long means I will have a lot of extra skin. From day one I began exercising and hoping it would help in the skin department. If nothing else, I knew my heart needed some conditioning. I was too embarrassed to join a gym (still am!), but I did have an elliptical in my garage. Guys, I could barely do five minutes without being out of breath and sweating like a maniac. Stronger was my theme. Thank you, Kelly Clarkson and Mandisa. I'd listen to those songs and somehow make it to the next day. I slowly added more songs until I was up to 30 minutes. That was nothing short of a miracle, y'all! 

I was so glad our garage had windows. I'd watch the neighbors come and go. I'm a nosey one. :)

I didn't tell a lot of people what I was doing. Again, I was afraid I'd fail, so I kept this new endeavor to myself for the most part. My parents knew, as well as three close friends. They were my sounding boards, my cheerleaders. I would call my mom and tell her what I was eating or how I'd workout on the lippy (my nickname for the elliptical) and she'd tell me how proud she was. I couldn't talk to my dad without him saying "You're doing great. Don't quit." And the numerous texts messages to my friends really kept me going. Slowly but surely I began to see results. Pounds starting coming off and clothes began to fit different. Boy was that motivation!

The first time I took a picture and noticed a change in my face. 

April 18, 2012

So where am I one year later? I wish I could say I have everything under control today. But I don't. Each day is a struggle. I am an emotional eater. I love to eat when happy, sad, anxious, and so on. And I love to show my love with food. Cooking and baking are my outlets, my love language. ;) It makes my happy to prepare a meal for people to enjoy. (And usually those meals are heavy laden in butter and, of course, cheese.) So I still struggle. Every day I have to make a conscious decision to chose to eat to live instead of live to eat. And a lot of those days I miss the mark completely. 

I still have 100 pounds to lose. And even at that weight I'd still be considered overweight on the charts. But I know what I think will be a healthy weight for my body. I still get extremely overwhelmed with the thought of having so much weight still left to lose. A lot of days I get down right MAD. And those are the days I fall off the wagon and eat like a maniac. But I have those dear people in my life who remind me how far I've come. I don't want to give up. I want to conquer this once and for all. I meet with a trainer twice a week and she kicks my booty each and every time. I love to look back at when we started and see how much stronger I am today than I was a few months ago. I know I am headed in the right direction. 

After going on a nature walk/run in Little Rock. My lifestyle is completely different than it once was. I actually get out and get moving!

March 8, 2013

We have all heard it a million times "You didn't put the weight on overnight and it won't come off overnight". As much as that quote infuriates me, it's also an encouragement. I know each day I choose to make the right choices with my food and with exercise puts me that much closer to my goals. I know there is something bigger to this than just me reaching a certain number on the scale and I can't wait to see what is in store for the coming year.